| |
|
 |
G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA
DIRECTOR: STEPHEN SOMMERS
WRITERS: STUART BEATTIE, DAVID ELLIOT, PAUL LOVETT
CAST: Channing Tatum, Sienna Miller, Joseph Gordon-Levitt
PLOT: An elite military unit comprised of special operatives
known as G.I. Joe, operating out of the Pit, takes on an evil
organization led by a notorious arms dealer.
|
|
 |
Well the release of G.I. Joe marks the end of the 2009 summer blockbuster season. I honestly cannot be more relieved
because this means that the “real” films (Award Season Films) are about to be released. I went into this movie expecting
nothing but a failure but still had the curiosity of maybe, just maybe, I would be wrong. My film senses were right again!
To quickly explain a bit of history in the development of this film, the studio pretty much rushed it into production in order to
avoid the whole writer’s strike that took place last year. Which means that they green lit the script without much hesitation
and with little re-writes. Not a good thing when it comes to making a great film, I might add. Then the casting of Channing
Tatum made me lose extreme confidence in this whole project. The movie was rushed and it clearly shows in the final
result. The studio didn’t even want to screen the film for critics beforehand. This kind of behavior is usually reserved for
bad comedies and terrible horror films. Immediately, red flags were waved in the air and all G.I. Joe fans began to
surrender and accept failure. Like the movie’s tagline: “When all else fails, we don’t” – Lies… all lies!
SUMMARY:
Following the success of Transformers, Hasbro has jumped into the next toy line bandwagon for another
action-adventure "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra." From the Egyptian desert to deep below the polar ice caps, the elite
G.I. JOE team uses the latest in next-generation spy and military equipment to fight the corrupt arms dealer, Destro,
and the growing threat of the mysterious Cobra organization to prevent them from plunging the world into chaos.
THE FILMMAKING:
Stephen Sommers is the kind of filmmaker that makes films that would appeal to me… if I were 12 years old.
Okay “The Mummy” kicks ass but everything else he has made since is nothing extraordinary. Which explains the
trailer for G.I. Joe clearly advertising “From the director of The Mummy” That film came out 10 years ago! On a better
note the guy can direct action, no doubt about that. My concern is how he directs actors. I am going to give him the
benefit of the doubt and say that the studio had a lot of control over the screenplay and the casting choices. What I
can finally say about Stephen Sommers is that his direction of action scenes and fight scenes are very well… the
overall films are just not great. With the right combination of a good action script and great actors, he might be able to
do good things with it. So better luck next time buddy!
THE PERFORMANCE:
I cringe at the thought of just how bad the acting in this film was! It’s like the studio decided to throw up a bunch of
pretty actors and turn them into the cast of G.I. Joe. I cannot stand seeing Channing Tatum on screen, it’s so bad I’m
beginning to have a personal agenda against him. A few friends asked me who I think would have played a better
Duke on screen, hmmm interesting. My imagination quickly began to run on overtime. Somewhere in between the
thoughts of a soccer ball, a tuna fish sandwich, and a Chihuahua, I came up with the conclusion that anyone or
anything would have been a better choice. I’m getting heated, enough about that fool. Not just Americans, but an
international choice of actors represent the rest of the cast. If you know anything about G.I. Joe then you would
know that it was very AMERICAN! This is Hollywood’s attempt to expand their sales of the film overseas. It’s
cool, no hard feelings. Also with the new summer trend of bad films, you get the black dude who says black things
for comic relief (Marlon Wayans) and some nice cleavage to look at (Sienna Miller)… Though I am a big fan of
Sienna Miller and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, I strongly believe they did this for a nice paycheck and possibly the idea of
being turned into action figures. Please get out while you can, too much talent to let it go to waste! So the winner for
best acting in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra goes to…Snake Eyes (Ray Park) who play’s a Silent Ninja. Silence is good,
very good.
OVERALL:
I can’t even say that the special effects were awesome. This is not good at all. Overall, The biggest flaw that this film
had was the weak screenplay. You mix a bad script with bad acting, lame effects, and everything else comes
crashing down. My brain hurts from all the B*llSh*t I’ve seen all summer! 2008 showed us that a summer blockbuster
could have critical acclaim and make a profit. 2009 showed us that with that profit the studios can turn it into crap to
make even more of a profit. They are getting a lot of sh*it from critics this year, this only means that they’ll get their act
together for 2010 (Hopefully). G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, although slightly better than Wolverine and Transformers 2:
Revenge of the Fallen, is a piece of cinematic crap. Expect a sequel and expect Hollywood to turn more toys into films.
You want to see a good G.I. Joe movie? Buy the action figures, use your imagination, and videotape it. I’ll leave on a
positive note: This film would have been the greatest thing I’ve ever seen…if I was 12 years old.
Rating: 1.5 out of 5 FILM FRAMES
|
|
